growing baby

Our blueberry-sized little embryo is turning into a kidney bean tomorrow!  Next week it’ll turn from a kidney bean into a grape.  Ilya thinks that’s a really gross way of thinking about it, hee hee. 🙂

Ilya and I saw the baby’s heart beating during today’s ultrasound.  I could barely see it–for a while I was looking in the wrong place altogether and even now I’m not absolutely sure that I ended up looking at what I was supposed to look at.  Anyway, Ilya, the doctor and the nurse all saw the heart beat too, so at least one of us has to be right!  Seeing the heart beat is such a relief since it’s a sign that everything is going well (and reduces the chance of miscarriage by a whole bunch).  So, yay!  Ilya’ll be posting the ultrasound pic later today–the gestational sac basically just looks like an elongated version of last week and there’s a little yolk sac inside.

As for other news, it’s looking like I’ll be pregnant and unemployed next year.  I did not get a fellowship, so my choices are lecture at UCLA (or elsewhere) or don’t work–unless I come up with a creative third alternative (tutoring?).  Even if I get a job as a lecturer, I wouldn’t be able to teach in Winter (newborn) or possibly in Fall (the baby would be due on the day classes end–and that’s not including finals week, or grading, plus what if the baby’s early?).  And it seems icky to be planning my first lecture course (mega work) in my third trimester while on the job market.  Oh well.

But back to happy news–we have a heart beat! 🙂

It’s been less than a day since we told our folks the good news–which, as Ilya said, everyone is so excited about–and already my parents bought a rocking horse for the little one! That’s so sweet and so totally goofy at the same time. It’ll be a while before the baby is born, learns to roll over, sit, crawl, walk, not to mention rock on a toy horse! In any case, it’s clear that we’re all eagerly hoping for a happy and healthy baby to come! In the meantime, no need for any more purchases for another while down the road, hee hee.

Ilya and I will be going to our first ultrasound appointment tomorrow. I’m very excited–and nervous. The past several days have felt like just a countdown to this moment: the conference presentation, teaching, working on a mortgage refinance, it’s all felt just like ways to occupy my time until the ultrasound rather than things that are vital in and of themselves. Anyway, I’m hoping that tomorrow will bring good news and that we’ll see an egg sack happily implanted in my uterus. Let’s hope so!

There’s a baby growing inside me. It’s all incredibly exciting and crazy and odd and wonderful. I keep telling the little one to hang on in there. I know it’s still early and anything could happen, but I’m staying positive and optimistic.

I had been expecting my period last Friday or Saturday. Sunday rolled around–nothing. Monday afternoon I convinced Ilya that it was time to pee on a stick…the two lines turned pink and I was pregnant! We had already tried for 2.5 years to have a baby with no success and had undergone several infertility treatments, so seeing the pregnancy test turn positive felt utterly unbelievable. I reread the instructions several times to make sure I really understood what was going on. I had to convince myself that I wasn’t hallucinating, somehow wildly imagining a second pink line into existence. But, a second test the next morning confirmed the pregnancy again–this time with Ilya as my witness. That morning (Tuesday), I went in to the fertility clinic where they did blood tests for hcg (the pregnancy test hormone) and progesterone. Both looked great. Next Tuesday (in a few days from now) I’ll be going back for an ultrasound–the doctor will be looking for an egg sack.

In the meantime, I just started my 5th week of pregnancy. (This is my third week after conception; doctors actually count the two weeks before conception as the first two weeks of your official pregnancy.) The baby should be the size of a sesame seed! It’s crazy to think that it’s already visible to the human eye. It’s early for pregnancy symptoms…the biggest thing I notice so far is constipation (what fun!). But I’ve been eating extra veggies to compensate. Oh, and I keep waking up too soon, usually after about six hours of sleep. And the drinking more and peeing more.

In the meantime, Ilya’s been super cute about the pregnancy. He’s expressing his excitement in all ways technological–browsing the web, making a blog, researching video cameras… Plus lots of belly rubs of course!

We started off fighting infertility. At first maybe we weren’t timing things quite right. Then came the better timing, and the pee sticks, and then a doctor or two. Then came the serious expenses for ultrasounds, and medications. Linda had a cyst removed. And, well, there was quite a few reminders about our 3% monthly chances at the end of it all. We were saving up for IVF.

Linda is pregnant. She had her cycle down to a science, knowing to expect a period within a 24 hour time frame — and she was right for the last four months. Therefore, it was already kind of suspicious when Sunday came and went without anything. On Monday she talked me into taking a test. And then for the rest of the day I couldn’t stop grinning.

So far we’ve only told our sisters, and a couple of friends (one couple is expecting a child in early summer, and another… well, has the same exact due date now, as it turns out :-]). We don’t want to really tell anyone yet who’s going to be disappointed if it doesn’t work out — or rather, anyone who we would want to tell anything if it doesn’t work out. But we’re hoping that things will be nice and cozy!

So far, Linda’s gotten a blood test, and naturally has spent quite a while on babycenter, and I’ve browsed some web sites too. The blood test confirmed the pregnancy, and she’s scheduled an ultrasound for next week with the same place as where we’ve been getting infertility help. Meanwhile, she has to fly to Atlanta for a conference, for just one night, and I’m very nervous about her getting over-stressed and in general being kind of worried.

But I’ll let her write her own story!